I had a thought-provoking session yesterday with my therapist where she likened dear hubby to a predator. She asked me to describe myself at the stage in my life that I met him and here is how it went.
“A single mom of 3 kids who worked two jobs 6 or 7 days a week living in a 2 bedroom apartment. Her soon-to-be ex was making her life as hard as possible while she worked herself to exhaustion trying to stay ahead of the bills. Stbx had drug out their mediation for over a year at that point and was paying no child support or alimony because she couldn’t afford to lawyer up. She used alcohol to numb the pain and chased inappropriate men/relationships so that she wouldn’t have to spend evenings alone when the kids were with their dad. She was lonely after coming out of an abusive on again/off again relationship with a jerk who moved to the other side the country. She had just spent Christmas in a bar with her sister drinking her troubles away. It was New Year’s Eve and she was working her part-time job when he walked in. It should have been the tall guy he was with that she noticed but it wasn’t. It was him. His looks, his stance, his “shy guy” routine. He ignored her for the better part of the evening, hooking her in, until just after midnight when he started amping up the attention and gave her his number. She fell for the attention, the looks and the conversation within a week and she invited him to her birthday party just 4 days later.”
I was ripe for the picking. I was lonely and looking for my soul mate and this predator chose me. He used my big heart, my helper attitude and my single mom status to take me for a ride…a 3 1/2 year ride. All I have to show for it is a beautiful baby girl who will be mine forever and my “sexy single mom” status, which is back and better than ever!