I find myself on a rollercoaster of emotion. I never know from day to day what my emotions, reactions, physical health or anything else will be. I have headaches like never before. I get triggered by things that I wouldn’t expect to bother me. The PTSD leaves me sleepless or overtired or fighting nightmares and waking up in a pool of sweat. I keep reminding myself that this is a journey…a process…an onion to be peeled back one layer at a time. Even that is frustrating to me when I just WANT IT ALL TO GO AWAY! But in the meantime I am working on being more grateful…for the big things, the little things and the acts of God that leave me so humbled.
My daughter had to have yet another medical procedure in March. I knew it was going to be expensive but even AFTER insurance the bill was $2,400. Then I remembered that my medical reimbursement account provided by my employer hadn’t kicked in yet. I got notified yesterday that they are paying all but $960 of it. Awesome!
This morning my attorney called to tell me that the ex wants his back due child support forgiven (+ or – $2,600) and he’s willing to forgive the judgement ($2,600) against me if I do. My attorney has already set up a hearing on the judgement for next week to get it reduced based on the fact that he is withholding my property to the tune of $1,900. This is all just a game to him. It makes me really angry. He hasn’t paid daycare since March, child support since April and he hasn’t paid any medical bills for our daughter since I left him in early 2011. However, I am so blessed to have an attorney who is willing to take payments and just keep grinding away at this. I have sole custody thanks to this attorney (and God, of course) and that has been my greatest blessing out of this nightmare.
My final blessing of the day is that my older kids are home from vacation with their dad and I will see them all tonite! My baby girl can’t wait to see them – she has asked about them every day this week. Our house seems strangely empty without all their busy-ness!
It’s Friday (another blessing!) and I’m looking forward to the weekend!!